Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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