im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
