I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
