What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
