Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
