Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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