there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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