Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
