Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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