this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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