After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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