Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
