what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
