I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She even gives head with a lisp.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
