ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
