I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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