Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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