i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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