Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize