I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
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I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
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We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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