Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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