ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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