Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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