Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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