so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Operation Purity has been aborted
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
