the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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