every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
