Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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