highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
