walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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