I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
