we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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