Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
