is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
