Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
