I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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