i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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