Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it was like eating out sand paper
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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