I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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