I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Green mimosas i think yes
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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