Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
