I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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