trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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