We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize