i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
