if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
