You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
