Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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