Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
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I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
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Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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