everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize