once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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