y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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