What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
