she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
