Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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