proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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