I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
