Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
