My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
