Have you finally orgasmed yet?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she smelled like a LAN party
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
