don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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