My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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