Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
