my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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