i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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