Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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